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DOCTOR: Do you get your five a day?

ME: Yes, as long as we're agreed that an 'optional' calendar invite is a fruit
DOCTOR: Do you get your fiv...
Feb 24
Heart: we need focus time
Head: mute chat, block calendar
Me: posting “heads down” then replying to everyone
Heart: [X] Head: [Y] Me: [Z]
Feb 24
Biggest Dopamine Hits
Exercise
Listening to music
Client signing same day, no redlines
Biggest Dopamine Hits Exerc...
Feb 23
Timeline of build my MVP - [Battery-style bar graph divided into segments:] Scaffold login screens again, Argue with gem versions Pretending to build my MVP, Fix OAuth redirect for hours, Polish admin dashboard no one sees
Timeline of [X] - [Battery-...
Feb 23
Tip of iceberg: posting a B2B meme that slaps / Underwater: 47 drafts before the one banger, 83-comment team chat about commas, A/B testing punchlines at 2 a.m.
Tip of iceberg: [W] / Under...
Feb 23
Some people seem to think that an aggressively tidy spreadsheet can solve all their problems?! Those people are correct.
Some people seem to think t...
Feb 23
What I say: You could call me a bookworm...

What I mean: I read over 19,000 'quick' feedback notes before lunch
What I say: You could call ...
Feb 22
If Screen Time Was Honest
Weekly Screen Time Report
5h 12m: Anxiously checking if the invoice got paid
8h 49m: Mindlessly browsing penthouse offices with skyline views
2h 58m: Googling if exposure pays the rent
Total: 16h 59m wasted
If Screen Time Was Honest W...
Feb 22
What's been your biggest victory of 2023 so far? (Mine was 'VLOOKUP worked on the first try'. It's going to be a big year.)
What's been your biggest vi...
Feb 22
Groundhog Day / Things that never end / Conversations with your PM who loves MVPs about hand-rolling auth again
Groundhog Day / Things that...
Feb 22
A Simple Guide to Content Approvals - How 'ASAP' your request is (Y-axis) vs Likelihood they're mysteriously OOO (X-axis) with an upward trending line
A Simple Guide to [X] - How...
Feb 21
Winning a gold medal is great and everything, but have you ever imported a CSV on the first try?
Winning a gold medal is gre...
Feb 21
When even the birds won't give me a break... 🎵Tweet tweet your desktop has 63 unsorted screenshots tweet tweet🎵
When even the birds won't g...
Feb 21
Button A: "Post a generic quote graphic (and and farm 9 pity likes)" Button B: "Ship one painfully specific meme (and and book actual demos)"
Button A: "[X] (and [Y])" B...
Feb 20
Most Impressive Achievements

Winning a Nobel Prize

Sharing screen without revealing 87 tabs
Most Impressive Achievement...
Feb 20
My Diary: "9:00-11:00 - Ship auth + roles" "11:00-1:00 - Integrate payments + receipts" "1:00-3:00 - Build admin dashboard" "3:00-5:00 - Set up zero-downtime deploys"

My Day: "9:00-5:00 - Spend 8 hours deciding between 'Account' or 'User' and crafting the perfect README emoji table."
My Diary: "[A]" "[B]" "[C]"...
Feb 20
ULTIMATE RELAXATION MIX FOR anyone who wrangles stakeholders
Featuring the soothing sounds of...
clients approving v1 as-is
meetings that become emails
And...
The total absence of scope creep disguised as 'tiny tweak'
ULTIMATE RELAXATION MIX FOR...
Feb 19
"There's no way you can get legal to approve a spicy meme!" ME:
"There's no way you can [X]...
Feb 19
Biggest Feelings of Relief - Finally getting paid after Xmas (smaller bar), Finally procurement finally approves your vendor (larger bar)
Biggest Feelings of Relief ...
Feb 19
Company page engagement in freefall IMAGE: PERSON USING FIRE EXTINGUISHER Posting 'Happy Monday!' at 9:01
[X] IMAGE: PERSON USING FIR...
Feb 18
Me when I export to PDF and nothing breaks
Me when I [X]
Feb 18
Tomorrow (noun)
"The day I say I'll finally file those 47 expense receipts."
(A day that never comes.)
Tomorrow (noun) "The day I ...
Feb 18
Button A: "Copy-paste from that 2014 repo (and and rebuild login for the 48th time)" Button B: "Start with a production-ready Rails starter (and and ship real features by Friday)"
Button A: "[X] (and [Y])" B...
Feb 17
I'm delighted to announce I finally found out how to batch-resize one joke to seven formats.
I'm delighted to announce I...
Feb 17
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